Happy spring everybody! The birds are chirping, the flowers are exploding with glorious color, the warm weather beckons, and I am still Safer At Home scraping together weird flour to make our 100th batch of cookies. It’s May, and as the experts predicted, the natives are getting restless. Our family was doing well until about week 7. I need to stop and say that our family IS doing really well. We have our health, our jobs, stability at home, this remarkable South Bay community of thoughtful leaders, generous neighbors, and good friends, all looking out for the greater good. My gratitude for this is profound.

“The ‘Themed Friday Photo Challenge’ back when quarantine was fun and only supposed to last two weeks.”

But, week 7 was a doozy.

The kids took this turn in behavior and emotions that honestly side-swiped me. Our 8 year old was having frequent and powerful crying fits and would reject anyone who tried to help. Our 10 year old was having trouble coping with every difficulty and having dreams fueled by coronavirus anxiety. All of us were having trouble focusing. My fight or flight kicked in hard core and I was a parenting disaster. I fear not understanding my kids and not knowing how to parent them. Otherwise known as, “loss of control”. Yay!

I started Google searching things like, ‘8 year old tantrums and COVID-19’, ‘psychology of children during pandemics’, ‘when the HELL is school reopening in CA’, ‘ways to connect that don’t involve Zoom’. I wasn’t coming up with what I was searching for. Why I didn’t go directly to SBFC, I’m not sure. I have always appreciated this website for having well vetted articles and local contributors that speak directly from and to the community we live in. The Coronavirus Support page has become such a valuable resource since then.

SBFC Links That Resonate

On the SBFC Coronavirus Support page, you’ll find a SBFC video from Anna Pirkl, MA. - so good. If you do nothing else, watch (all of) it.

The article, “What to Do (and Not) Do When Your Children Are Anxious” got right to the heart of what I was looking for. The Child Mind Institute is a wellspring of wonderful information. “Anxiety and Coping With the Coronavirus” is another great article I stumbled upon, which provides clear guidance on navigating all of this.

Being catapulted into a world of online use for our kids who hadn’t yet had a presence online, the Social Media and Technology page has been a go-to for my husband and I. We have had to learn the ins and outs of various platforms and apps, get educated on and discuss cyber safety with our kids, as well as draw up an age appropriate contract with them on the fly.

The Right Side of ‘Rona

From the beginning I have tried to stay curious about what this pandemic and quarantine are doing for us, which is a whole other topic. But in context to what I have shared, here are some highlights:

“Our crew with their coronavirus cake balls. 😳🤣”

Softening. Part of why I couldn’t find what I was Google searching for is that, sometimes there are no answers. Our job is not to answer, fix or solve all the time. The harder we search, the tighter we hold on, the more we push, we just get in the way. Once I told myself to pour a cup of tea [occasionally wine], sit down and shut up, things got a whole lot better. Also, the words, “its ok” have been pretty transformative. They apply to just about everything right now. Try it. I implore you.
Personal growth. In the span of this quarantine I have seen our passionately extroverted daughter stretch her impulse control, get creative with her boredom, work through her big emotions. Out of necessity, our son has become super capable and independent, finally earning some space to roam the neighborhood without us. He is learning to sit with discomfort and stick with things that don’t come easy. They both are able to make a pretty healthy rotation of meals for themselves, too!
A vivid appreciation of our earth. Gone are the after-school and weekend activities and out are the flowers, the most epic algae bloom, and the freshest air I think Los Angeles has ever breathed. Life has slowed enough for us as a family to even notice new flowers that have bloomed on our favorite plants in the neighborhood. This is stuff the 1950s were made of. Simple delight does a body and mind lots of good.
Connecting through cookies. Early in quarantine we binged the Netflix baking show, “Nailed It”, which inspired our own competition. The challenge: coronavirus cake balls. I was the judge. Although I had mixed feelings about making and eating these things, it brought a much needed levity and time to connect through play. In addition to baking and cooking, we’ve had backyard camp outs, checked out the bioluminescence a couple times, visited the South Coast Botanic Garden, and have been taking many MANY walks and bike rides. The trampoline and basketball hoop have also seen some extra play. Weekend mornings have been kicking off with an early 3 mile hill run, led by our son, Prefontaine. Most Sundays we tune in to our church’s YouTube Live worship (https://www.mbccucc.org/), which has been a really grounding source of comfort and wisdom for all of us.

“A birthday ‘drive by’, questionable at best.”

Despite all the wild challenges of COVID-19 and being Safer At Home, I’ve loved this time. As we begin to reopen, I pray that what has been nurtured, endures. That the meaningful work, sticks and that we can preserve a little 1950s simplicity in our lives. What have you been up to? Leave it in the comments! Be well friends, and thank you South Bay Families Connected for the vital role you play in the well-being of our youth and families.