Summer in the South Bay - According to Mom (Part II of III)
/RE-OPENING AND IT FEELS SO…HMMM… I’M NOT SURE
If you read my previous parent blog, then you know that our family has been strictly by the book when it comes to quarantine. With distance learning, working from home, and a hardy dose of denial that summer would be canceled; I lost touch with the outside world. For us that meant all summer camps had been officially or presumed canceled, our annual two-week trip to visit family and friends on the East Coast wasn’t going to happen, and I hadn’t lined up a babysitter to be with the kids while my husband and I work. We hadn’t even discussed whether we were open to having a babysitter. Additionally, California has moved to Stage 2 and now 3, while I’m comfortable holding a solid Stage 1. In a blink, beaches re-opened, schools are out, and quarantine fatigue is real.
Wondering if I was alone in feelings a bit overwhelmed, I did what any reasonable person would do; I polled my trusted parenting friends. A diverse group that I believe represents a fair cross-section of the South Bay. Single moms, working moms, full-time moms, and some in-betweeners. Conservative to liberal, both in lifestyle and views. Here are some key take-aways:
YOU IN FACT, ARE NOT ALONE.
100% of respondents have been staying Safer At Home, following the order and local rules closely. Most just started relaxing it a bit as California moved into Stage 2. Although my self-doubt creeps in here, I think what I’m responding to; is that everyone is on a sliding scale when it comes to breaking quarantine, and we don’t yet have a normalized conversation around this. Straight arming your best friend when she goes in for a hug after three months is awkward at best.
Your children aren’t alone either. Families that I’ve spoken with on and off the record have been rather uniform in the fact that their kids haven’t seen or spent time with friends, outside of zoom and online chat or gaming apps. This has notably led to one of the biggest impacts on families. In response, many have developed a “double bubble”. One or two trusted families that they have exclusively gotten together with for outdoor hangs or roaming the neighborhood by bike, scooter, and skateboard. One inventive family even hosted a hammock sleepover under the stars.
THE MAKINGS OF A SUMMER TO REMEMBER
So, what are the little nuggets going to be doing? Survey says, spending lots of time at the beach. I know we’ll be down there most days. As for what to do while home, Shana, a “semi”-retired 8th-grade physical science teacher and super-mom, reminded me that Makerspace projects are always available and can occupy hands and brains for a while…or long enough to make dinner. If you want to step it up, Shana has already done, “a s’mores solar oven, water bottle rockets with parachutes, and the permeability of the “naked” egg experiment with her 7 and 9-year-olds. Cool! And you’re making us look bad Shana. Manhattan Beach mom, Laurie, turns to her village. “I have always wanted to do a summer camp co-op with like-minded families where you coordinate a small group of kids and rotate them on different days with different parents. With most camps looking questionable at best, this may be the year!”
For a terrific ideas and resources this summer, including a great list of summer activity ideas from Challenge Success, please visit SBFC’s Coronavirus Resource, newly revamped to include resources to help youth thrive during the summer months. My favorite featured resource comes from Challenge Success, a really important one that offers insight from the experts about what makes a meaningful and fun summer — learning, play, purpose, independence, and connection. I would specifically highlight supporting a cause that you care about. Without going too deep here - our world, country, and local community are asking for our help right now. Take the time to engage and educate our children, in age-appropriate ways, on the issues of race and inclusion. For resources to help with these discussions and current events, check out SBFC’s National Unrest page.
As far as vacations go, many families are exchanging booked flights for trips closer to home. But for some who can arrange for longer stays, the benefits outweigh the risk. Kristen and her husband Steve, both educators, traditionally spend their summers along the East Coast, visiting family and friends with their two children. “We plan to go this summer but with different parameters. We will self-quarantine for two weeks after flying, before seeing our folks. We will just see our immediate families. Our friends and larger family gatherings will have to be on hold. We are leaving with a sense of hope and a spirit of flexibility. We know we may have to come back anytime if it just isn't working; however, that is the power of family. I would do anything right now to hug my parents.”
THE CERTAIN IN UNCERTAINTY
What you can be sure of is that nobody is certain what the next few months will look like. Heck, most of us don’t even know what tomorrow will look like. Dr. Maria Nazarian, therapist, and mother of two, shared some beautiful insight into handling all of this. “By practicing mindfulness, (and this has been an amazing opportunity for that), I now truly feel much more comfortable with the uncertainty of everything. Like others, there has been uncertainty in virtually all areas of my life. What I recognize is that the uncertainty and impermanence were always there, but my plans gave me the illusion of control over my future. Now that I cannot plan anything, I am faced with the uncertainty head-on, which was extremely uncomfortable at first. Over time, this forced me to stay in the present and, low and behold, the present moment offered many opportunities for joy when I was not consumed by worrying about my future.”
As we re-open, please be gentle with yourself. Trust and follow what is right for you and your quarantine unit. I’d also challenge you to be intentional about what you want to preserve from this time. As proven by the valued moms who contributed to this article and all the varied voices I’ve heard throughout this pandemic, many of our “silver linings” are collective:
• Slowing down and spending quality time together
• Fostering sibling and/or family bonding
• Caring for and connecting with others
• Counting our blessings
• Keeping better habits like walking & biking, practicing mindfulness, and better hand hygiene
If you ask me, ‘pandemic you’ has everything needed to have a meaningful and fun summer right there. Fortunately, things have changed even since I started this piece. Camps and beach programs have gotten the green light and most will hopefully be operating by July. Go at your own pace and good luck! Also, don’t forget to join the SBFC Summer Series Parent Rx for COVID Summer Tween Angst with Kelly Hendrickson, R.N., for parents of children age 10-13 starting in July. YOU GOT THIS! Happy and safe summer wishes to you, my friends.
